


We've All Got Issues

by Hippomatrix



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: F/M, I’m a super villain and you’re a therapist I kidnapped bc I need someone to talk to au, Maka is a therapist, SoMa - Freeform, super hero AU, this is so fun to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:58:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hippomatrix/pseuds/Hippomatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're my prisoner."</p><p>"Prisoner?" she asked, hoping it was all some sort of cruel joke.</p><p>He nodded and she noticed that his hair was white. Oh no. Was he someone with superpowers? Supers tended to have oddly colored hair. "Yes. You will be staying here... indefinitely."</p><p>"Why? What did I do to you? What do you want from me?"</p><p>His response took longer than she expected, and he said it awkwardly, as if even he knew it sounded desperate. "I just... want someone to talk to."</p><p>She stared at him for a few seconds, again hoping he was joking. He wasn't.</p><p>Now Maka was just angry. "You kidnapped me so you'd have someone to talk to?! What is wrong with you?! Why do you have to kidnap someone to talk to them?!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Like 7 Brides For 7 Brothers But With Only 1 Girl

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off the prompt: I’m a super villain and you’re a therapist I kidnapped bc I need someone to talk to au.  
> This is the source: http://swordpigeon.tumblr.com/post/106460870203/aus-part-2

Black Star peered at the girl walking down the street. He'd been sitting in his hidden vantage point for almost half an hour, and he was getting bored. She was the first acceptable victim he'd seen since he got there. She looked young, maybe in her early twenties. Pretty, too. Was she the right one? Soul hadn't specified what he wanted.

Black Star smirked. He supposed it didn't matter who he kidnapped, as long as he did it successfully.

Black Star climbed down from his hidden spot and crept along the shadows, cutting into people's yards to stay hidden from her and the occasional pedestrians. He had to make sure no one would notice when she disappeared.

Once they were in an unobserved area, he made his move. He crept behind her and pressed a chloroform soaked rag over her mouth and nose. She tried to spin around and hit him, as most people would if attacked by someone, but he held her in place as the drug took effect, putting her over his shoulder once she'd fully passed out.

* * *

"Is she acceptable?"

Soul studied the girl Black Star had brought back to their secret lair. He hadn't had an image of a specific person he wanted when he had ordered Black Star to bring someone back, but this girl was perfect. She looked smart, interesting, and _normal_.

Soul wanted to know someone normal. He wanted someone to talk to. Someone who _wasn't_ Black Star. Black Star was Soul's henchman and his only friend, but he could be kind of crazy. No, Soul wanted someone to talk to who was normal, even if he had to go to... unethical lengths to find that someone.

Soul smiled, waving his hand to dismiss Black Star. "She'll do."

* * *

Maka sat up and rubbed her eyes. Where the hell was she? She looked down at the bed she was in. It didn't seem familiar. Had she gotten drunk and... gone home with someone? She dismissed the idea almost immediately. No, she rarely drank, and if she had gotten drunk she would remember the drinking part of it. Plus she was still in her clothes from work, her usual nice blouse and business skirt, so she probably hadn't slept with anyone. She didn't remember anything after starting to walk home. The whole situation was very confusing.

Maka looked closer at her surrounding for clues and realized she was surrounded by bars. She was in a cage that was maybe 10 x 10 ft. There were bars around and above her and the bed she was on took up a little less than half the space. And... oh god, was that a _toilet_?

"Where the hell am I?"

"You're in my secret lair. You're my prisoner."

Startled, Maka looked towards the voice. A man was sitting cross-legged on the other side of the bars, watching her. Had he been watching her _sleep_? That was creepy.

"Prisoner?" she asked, hoping it was all some sort of cruel joke.

He nodded and she noticed that his hair was white. Oh no. Was he someone with superpowers? Supers tended to have oddly colored hair.

He stood up. "Yes. You will be staying here... indefinitely."

"Why? What did I do to you? What do you want from me?"

His response took longer than she expected, and he said it awkwardly, as if even he knew it sounded desperate.

"I just... want someone to talk to."

She stared at him for a few seconds, again hoping he was joking. He wasn't.

Now Maka was just angry. She hurled a pillow at the bars surrounding her and screamed at him. He flinched, but didn't back away. She scrambled off the bed and came towards him, throwing another pillow at his face. She knew she couldn't hit him because of the bars, but she didn't care.

"You kidnapped me so you'd have someone to talk to?! What is wrong with you?! Why do you have to kidnap someone to talk to them?!"

Now that he was actually in danger of being hit by her he backed away from the bars so she couldn't reach him. "If you must know, I'm a villain. The man you met earlier was my henchman, Black Star. I'm called Hacker."

* * *

Maka backed away from the bars and turned away from Soul, pulling out her phone. If she could access a map and find her location, she could text for help.

Soul peered through the bars at her. "What are you doing?"

She turned further away from him, trying to conceal her phone.

"Nothing."

Soul typed in the passcode and opened the door to her cage, being careful to shut it behind him. He could tell she had some sort of device. It figured Black Star had forgotten to take her phone. Now he'd have to get it himself while she was very much awake and angry.

Maka peeked over her shoulder upon hearing the door open and close and moved farther away from him. If she could just finish finding where she was and send the information to someone, she could have a chance to be rescued.

Soul grabbed at her phone, but she held onto it tightly. After a few seconds of struggling with her, he pulled it from her and tossed it through the bars of her cage before she could get it back.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you call for help."

He thought she would try to beat him up, but instead she pulled herself out of his grasp and turned away from him, ignoring him. Maka wasn't stupid. She knew she couldn't win in a fight with this "Hacker". He was taller than her and appeared to have superior physical strength. But she had superior mental strength. So instead of pursuing a useless fight, she was ignoring him. She figured it would hurt him more.

She was right.


	2. Soul Needs To Wake Up And Smell Maka's Anger

Soul glared at Maka, more frustrated than he was willing to admit. She was sitting on the bed in her cage, turned away from him and adamantly refusing to acknowledge his presence. She had been ignoring him for two days already, and he was hoping she couldn't keep it up much longer.

He'd been staring at her pretty much non-stop that whole time, leaving the room only when he had to sleep or she had to go to the bathroom. He may have kidnapped her, but staying in the room while she was going to the bathroom would cross a line he wasn't willing to step over. He brought her meals, but she refused to eat more than was absolutely necessary for her survival. He found her silent response to him very frustrating.

"Will you just talk to me?!"

Maka ignored him.

"If I had known you'd be this difficult, I would've had Black Star go and get someone else!"

Maka turned around, angry, her face flushing red with anger. "Not only did you _kidnap_ me, but now you're blaming _me_ for _your_ unhappiness! Stop projecting your feelings onto me! It's not my fault that you've been ignored so much that you feel the need to _force_ someone to talk to you!"

Soul was shocked. Not only had she spoken to him, but she'd been right about everything she said. It kind of pissed him off.

"What are you, a therapist?!"

"Yes, which you would know if you had even _tried_ to find out more about me before _kidnapping_ me!"

Soul ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. "Of course Black Star screwed up and brought me someone who will try and diagnose me with a mental disorder! That's the last time I have him do anything I want done properly!"

Maka couldn't contain her anger. "What?! Me being a therapist means I'm not worthy of being kidnapped!? How dare you!" She pelted her pillows at him, something he was getting used to. When she ran out of missiles she slid off the bed and reached through the bars of her cage. She wanted to make him hurt.

Soul recognized the anger in her eyes and wisely moved out of her reach. "That's not what I meant," he said, panicked. He didn't want her to hate him.

Maka slumped against the bars, letting the worst of her anger pass. He actually sounded apologetic. She studied his face. Perhaps he was redeemable. She was his prisoner, and she couldn't do much about it, but maybe if she complied and talked to him he'd eventually let her go.

* * *

Soul watched Maka study him. She'd been angry a second ago but now she seemed calm and composed.

"What's your name?"

Maka blinked. "What?"

"Your name. I just realized I don't know what it is."

"Maka. What's your name?"

"I already told you, it's Hacker."

"But what's your real name?"

He should've kept it a secret, but on an impulse, he decided to trust her with it.

"Soul."

"Well, Soul," she said, climbing back onto her bed and proceeding to sit up very straight and professionally, just like she would with a patient. "what I want to know is, why are you a villain?"

Soul shifted uncomfortably on his chair. She was so calm, and it made him kind of nervous. This whole situation felt strange, like she was secretly interrogating him.

"My whole family is made up of villains. It was my only option."

"So what's your power?"

He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "I ...don't have one."

"But your hair-"

"Is white, I know. What a disappointment to my parents. All the makings of a villain, but no actual powers. I'm basically a genius with technology and coding, but that's not good enough for them."

"So what exactly do you do with your... skills?"

He shrugged. "I mostly siphon money away from banks and people and create technology for other villains."

"So you don't directly hurt anyone. You're not as evil as I thought."

Soul clenched his fists indignantly. "What?! Of course I'm evil! I'm a super villain!"

Maka smirked. "I think you're just a regular villain."

Soul opened and shut his mouth, unable to say anything that could describe how much she'd just insulted him. Of course he was a super villain! He hacked into banks and built awesome stuff and... wait. She was right. None of what he did was stuff a super villain would do. He _was_ just a regular villain. Damn it, why did she have to be so smart?

* * *

"Soul, I need to take a shower."

Soul froze. He'd just walked into the room and already she'd demanded something of him.

"And I need different clothes. A toothbrush would be nice as well."

He just stood there.

"Damn it, Soul! These living conditions are unhygienic! I've been wearing these same clothes this whole time and I haven't showered or brushed my teeth since I got here 3 days ago! All I have is hand sanitizer to clean my hands after going to the bathroom! I need better living conditions!"

Soul stared at her for a few seconds, then backed out of the room and closed the door.

"Come back here!" she screamed, fruitlessly throwing a pillow at the bars. Don't you dare walk away from me! Soul!"

* * *

"This is your new room."

Soul gestured around the smallish room. It had a bed, a dresser, a barred window, and a door which was opened to a bathroom with a shower in it. He closed the door to the room so she couldn't escape into the other areas of his secret lair then letting go of her arm and unlocked her hand cuffs.

Maka shook his hands off her arms and stepped away from him, rubbing her wrists

"Was it really necessary to hand cuff me? And why didn't you tell me earlier this was what you were going to do?"

"A 'thank you' would be nice."

She glared at him. "You kidnapped me and I'm supposed to say _thank you_ when you provide me with basic hygienic tools?"

She walked over to the dresser and opened the drawers. They were all empty.

"What am I supposed to change into?"

He opened his mouth to answer, then realized he'd forgot to get her different clothes.

"...I'll be right back. You start your shower, and there will be something for you to change into when you finish."

Shaking her head at his inability to remember simple requests, Maka turned away from him and went into the bathroom. There was no lock on the door.

"If this door is closed you are not allowed to come in!" she yelled at him as he closed the door to her new room. She knew it was common courtesy not to walk in on people in the bathroom, but she also knew he'd kidnapped her and had watched her sleep, so she figured it was worth mentioning as a rule.

Maka closed the bathroom door and stripped off her work clothes. She stepped into the shower and turned the water on, adjusting the temperature to warm. It felt good to be cleaning herself after all those days of wearing the same clothes non stop. She still resented that she was a prisoner, but at least her living conditions were better now.

* * *

Maka only opened the door a crack, just in case Soul was in her room. Seeing he wasn't, she opened the door wider and looked down. Sure enough, there were clothes outside of the door. And a note. She picked it up to read what it said.

_This was the best I could find on short notice. I've gone to get something better, but until I get back you can wear these._

She put the note down and picked up the clothes. There was a large t-shirt and boxers. He'd given her some of _his_ clothes.

She tentatively smelled them to make sure they were clean, then put them on over her bra and underwear, and was surprised to find that they were comfortable. The shirt would have fit loosely on him, but it was large on her. The boxers were another story entirely. The waist was too large and they wouldn't stay up, so she abandoned them, figuring his shirt covered enough of her to preserve her modesty. He'd watched her sleep anyways, what did it matter if he saw her legs? She folded her own clothes and set them on top of the dresser to be washed.

Satisfied that she had enough clothes on, she sat down on the bed and began to untangle her hair with her fingers. Hopefully Soul would come back soon with some clothes that would fit her better. If he didn't she'd be annoyed.

* * *

Soul walked into the room carrying a bag of clothes.

She snorted. "Took you long enough."

He glanced at Maka. She was sprawled across her bed, head propped up in her hands, her hair down and still slightly wet. He noticed that she wasn't wearing his boxers, just his shirt, and damn it, she actually looked good. Really good. He didn't like that she looked so attractive. He didn't want to be attracted to her. He looked away from her legs and down at the bag of clothes before he could get flustered at the sight of her.

"Why aren't you wearing the boxers?"

She tucked her legs under her and sat up, reaching out for the bag, which he handed to her.

"They're too big."

"And your hair?"

"My stupid hairband broke."

She rummaged through the bag. There were 5 t-shirts, 2 jeans, and 4 skirts. Everything seemed about the right size, but there wasn't any underwear.

"Are those okay?"

She looked up. "They're fine, but I need underwear, too."

Soul ran his fingers through his hair, embarrassed. "I've never... I don't... what size do you need?"

"My underwear is probably small or medium and my my bra size is 34C."

He knew he shouldn't be embarrassed to be talking about this, that she was only telling him so he could get the right size, but damn, that was pretty personal information.

"Do you need anything else?"

"Well, I was going to ask for pajamas, but this shirt is comfortable, so I'll keep it. You can't have it back, I'm stealing it."

She looked up, daring him to defy her, but he just nodded. He figured if she wanted it, she could have it. He had plenty of shirts, it wasn't like he needed this one. Challenging her would only lead to another argument and he didn't want to have one.

"Is that it?"

"I also need some more hairbands, a brush, and a razor."

"Why do you need that?"

"So I can shave, duh."

"But there's no one who will see."

She rolled her eyes. "It has nothing to do with who will see. It's not for anyone but myself. I like how it feels and how it looks, so I do it. Do you have a problem with that?"

He held up his hands defensively, trying to convey that he wasn't trying to make her angry. "No, I don't have a problem with that. Is that everything you need?"

She thought for a moment. "If I'm going to be here for a while, I'll need tampons. Oh, and some books would be nice."

Soul nodded stiffly and left before he could say anything else that might offend her. He knew she needed these things, but man, it would be awkward going to the store and buying them.


	3. Soul Acts Like A Needy Child

Soul walked into Maka's room and sat down on her bed. She looked up from her book to glare at him. He'd been doing this almost every day for the past few months and she got annoyed at him every time. When would he take a hint and learn that bugging her did not make her want to talk to him?

"Go away, Soul, I'm trying to read."

He sprawled over her bed to annoy her, refusing to leave. Although this was her room, it was still a part of his so called secret lair, and he felt that he had every right to be there.

She kicked his arm in annoyance and he grabbed her foot in retaliation. She kicked him with her other foot and he grabbed that, too. She bookmarked her place and made to hit him in the head with her book, but he dodged, letting go of one of her feet long enough to grab her book and toss it off the tried to kick him again, but his grip on her feet was too tight and she managed only to push him part way off her bed.

"Go away, Soul," she hissed, sounding very exasperated.

He ignored her tone and scooted closer to her. "No, you're my prisoner. Talk to me."

He hated that he sounded like a little kid begging for attention, but he really wanted her to talk to him.

She turned on her side and ignored him.

"You're doing this again? Really?"

She didn't answer.

"Fine. But I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

When Maka still didn't talk, Soul used his grip on her feet to pull her towards him, tugging her so that she was facing him. He put his hand on her waist to keep her from squirming away.

"Fine," she said, giving in. "I'll talk to you. What do you want to talk about?"

He blanked. What _did_ he want to talk about? He realized, with a start, he didn't have anything in mind. He just wanted to spend time with her. He stared at her, losing focus. Lately it was getting harder to be around her without imagining some fantastical first kiss or adventure with her. He chided himself for being stupid and told himself it would never happen. She didn't like him, she hated him. And rightly so. He was the jackass who had kidnapped her. He'd adamantly denied any romantic feelings he might be developing for her when Black Star asked, but it was hard to lie to himself. Against his better judgement, he _did_ like her.

Realizing Soul had zoned out and had no idea what he wanted to talk about, Maka rolled her eyes at his blank expression and moved to get up, pushing his hands away from her waist. If she got her book from the floor, she could start reading again from where Soul had quite rudely interrupted her. Soul started to reach out to pull her back to him, but he wasn't sure how she would interpret it, so he let his arms fall back on her bed. Maka grabbed her book off the floor and returned to the bed, shoving Soul to one side so she could sit back down.

"Tell me about the book you're reading. What's it called? Is it good?"

Maka angled her book so he could see the title and continued to read. She was at a good part and she didn't want to be interrupted. The angle also blocked his face from her view, which was a bonus.

Soul gave up on trying to make her talk to him and went back to trying and failing to convince himself he had no feelings for her, something that was hard to do because he kept getting distracted by details of her appearance and fantasizing about running his fingers through her hair.

* * *

Maka closed her book and rubbed her eyes. It was getting late and she knew she needed to go to sleep. She looked around the room and was startled to see Soul next to her. She'd been so absorbed in her book she'd forgotten he was there. She wondered how he'd managed to be so quiet until she realized he'd fallen asleep.

Maka eyed him suspiciously, poking his face to see if he'd wake up or try to surprise her with a jump scare. He didn't. She considered her options. She could smother him with her pillow, but the idea didn't appeal to her. Despite the fact that he'd kidnapped her, she didn't really hate him. Plus, if he died she'd either never get out of this room and die of starvation or, God forbid, become Black Star's prisoner, and she didn't know which sounded worse. She did not, however, feel any opposition to the idea of shoving him off her bed so she could go to sleep in peace.

* * *

Maka woke up to someone she didn't recognize tapping her shoulder. She sat partway up, leaning on her elbows, and looked up at the stranger in her room. "Who are you?"

The girl stopped prodding her and smiled, her long yellow hair covering part of her mask as she leaned over Maka. "I'm called Shooter. My team and I are here to rescue you."

Maka hadn't thought this day would come, and now that it had she wasn't sure how to respond.

"Rescue me?"

Shooter nodded. "Yep. We were alerted by your father who is very very worried about you that you'd gone missing. So we were assigned to tracked you down. Sorry it took us so long to find you."

"And what's going to happen to... Hacker?" Maka asked, noticing he was no longer sprawled on the floor, and deciding mid sentence not to use Soul's real name.

"He's in custody at the moment until we can work something out, but between you and me, I think he'll agree to work for us."

"You?"

"S. H. U." Shooter replied. "Super Heroes United."


	4. Maka Denies Having Stockholm Syndrome And Soul Goes To Therapy

"So how are you adjusting to living normally again?"

Maka took a sip of her coffee and smiled at Tsubaki, her coworker and friend. "Pretty well, actually. When I first got back I had a hard time with Crona. They're my most needy patient you know, and I think they almost had a breakdown while I was gone."

"Do you miss him?"

"Who?"

"Hacker."

Maka shook her head, unwilling to admit that she actually did miss him. "No, how could I miss him? He kidnapped me and kept me in his 'secret lair' for 3 months. I'm glad to finally be home."

"That doesn't mean you can't miss him. He was your only human contact that whole time, and you know that it's not unusual for people who have been kidnapped to identify with their captors."

"Thanks for the concern, but I don't need the Stockholm syndrome speech again."

Maka got up to leave the cafe. She had an appointment with a new patient today, and she wanted to make sure she got to work on time.

"Maka."

She turned around.

"Just... make sure you give yourself time to adjust."

* * *

Maka walked into the waiting room to meet her new patient.

"Is Albert Greene here?"

A man stood up who was definitely not named Albert Greene, and Maka froze. It couldn't be him, he was supposed to be in jail or something. Why was he _here_? She stood frozen, caught between taking a step back in surprise and taking a step forward to confirm without a doubt that it was him.

"Soul?"

He smiled uneasily and nodded, moving to step towards her but stopping when she flinched away from him.

"Why are you here? I don't want you here. I want you to leave."

"Will you just talk to me? I paid for the appointment."

She glared at him, then turned sharply and headed for her office, not sure if she wanted him to follow her or not, but knowing he would regardless.

Soul followed silently behind her, sitting down once inside.

She shut the door, but left her hand on the knob, ready to open it and shout for help if he tried anything.

"What do you want? You better not have come here to kidnap me again."

He opened his mouth to deny that it had been his plan, but that would be a lie. He had been thinking about it.

Maka could tell he was guilty as accused, and knowing it made her want him there even less. She wanted him as far away from her as possible. She wanted to be in control instead of being trapped with him.

"Get out."

"No, wait. I promise I won't kidnap you again. Just... talk to me. I just... I want it to be like before, only not, you know," he coughed awkwardly. "the whole prisoner part. I am sorry about that, by the way."

Maka hesitated, then let go of the doorknob and went to sit in her chair. She clicked her pen and wrote _Soul expresses regret for what he's done but is still a jackass_ in her notepad to make him think she was scrutinizing him and get nervous. If he wanted to talk, she'd talk. But she wasn't going to let him forget what he'd done, and if he thought she'd take it easy on him, he had another thing coming.

She looked up from her notepad, but didn't smile. She considered him for a moment, noticing how he tensed and became uncomfortable under her scrutiny. She clicked her pen again, smoothed her paper, and started their session.

"Let's talk about your life decisions," she said, smiling innocently as she internally smirked. "Why did you think crime was a valid career choice, and what are you doing now to make up for everything you've done?"

"I'm working with S.H.U. now. Does that earn me redemption points?"

Maka ignored his sarcasm.

"And what exactly do you do with them?"

"I help develop technology for the stupid superheroes who have their eyes on me like hawks all the time. Oh, and I also returned most of the money I stole."

She narrowed her eyes skeptically. " _Most_ of the money you stole?"

Soul grinned sheepishly. "Well, I can't return all of it. I spent some of it on technology and stuff for my secret lai- I mean house."

Maka raised an eyebrow. "So you're calling it a house now?"

"Yeah. It's not exactly, well, _secret_ anymore, and it was never really a lair."

"So everyone from S.H.U. knows your true identity?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but as long as I behave and help them, they'll let me continue to live a normal-ish life."

* * *

"Do you know who that blue haired guy in the waiting room was?" Tsubaki asked. "Is he a super?"

"Trust me, you do  _not_ want to know who that freak is. He's psychotic. Don't go trying to fix someone who isn't your patient."

"That's not what I meant."

"What do you... oh, _hell_ no. _No_. Do _not_ ask him out."

* * *

"So, has your psychotic friend joined S.H.U. too?"

Soul nodded. "Not sure if it'll last, though. He gets angry so easily and he won't listen to their orders. That's why he signed up for therapy, too."

Maka felt a sinking feeling. "Please don't tell me he's meeting with Dr. Nakatsukasa."

"How'd you know?"

"She's my friend, and you better make sure he doesn't do anything bad to her" Maka said, looking pointedly at Soul. "If he hurts her I will hold you responsible for fixing it and making sure he stays far away from her. Understood?"

Soul nodded.


	5. Impending Doom is a Good Motivator

"You summoned me?"

The three superheros turned towards Soul as he shut the door to the S.H.U. meeting room labeled "3B" behind him. The man in a black suit with three vertical stripes matching his white streaked hair stepped forward, identifying himself as the leader of the trio. "Yes. I'm Flying Kid and these are my partners, the 'Twin Guns.'"

"Flying Kid?" Soul repeated, wondering why anyone would choose such a stupid name as their alias.

Ignoring Soul, Flying Kid gestured to the taller woman with long hair, and then to the shorter woman with short hair, giving their individual names. "This is Shooter, and this is Ricochet."

Shooter smirked. "We were the ones who identified you and freed your captive."

Soul grit his teeth. Great, not only did he have to work with superheroes, but now he had to work with the superheroes who had freed Maka and forced him to join S.H.U. in the first place. He summoned his composure and tried to make his facial expression as passive as possible. "What do you need me for?"

"We know your specialty isn't in combat, but we need your help to defeat the villain Ragnarok. We have reason to believe you designed his suit, and as it is near indestructible, we want you to come with us to help disable it."

"What?! No!" Soul sputtered. "I can't fight that maniac! He's insane! And I have no combat experience! I work in tech! I'm a hacker, not a fighter! And I mean that literally! My alias is hacker, not Guy Who Knows How To Fight"

Ricochet laughed and pointed at him. "HA! You're gonna die!"

Shooter, who Soul now realized was probably Ricochet's sister, shushed her, whispering something about rudeness and not mentioning the obvious.

"You're going to have us as backup. While you work on disabling his suit, we'll keep him preoccupied, and make sure you don't die," Flying Kid replied.

"Great, Wonderful," Soul said sarcastically, "I'll be in immense danger, but at least someone who can fly and two sisters with guns can protect me."

"Oh, we don't _have_ guns," Shooter said, pointing her arm at him as it morphed into a canon type weapon he'd never seen before. "We can _become_ guns."

Soul eyed her altered appendage and stepped to the side of it, not trusting her to keep it on safe mode, if there even was such a thing for a weapon attached to a shapeshifter.

Flying Kid gestured for Shooter to change back, and drew Soul's attention back to him.

"We'll notify you when we locate Ragnarok so that you can come and help us. But before that, you need a super suit."

Soul looked at Flying Kid doubtfully. "A super suit?"

* * *

Soul rubbed his neck nervously and watched Maka as she sat down in front of him. He'd already asked her several times and been answered with no, but he wanted to try just one more time before giving up. Just like the time before had been the last time before he gave up, _only this time_ , he told himself, _this time really was the last time_.

"Maka?"

She looked up from her notes at him. Oh no, he was going to ask again, she could tell. She didn't like that he kept asking, because every time he did it weakened her resolve. She tilted her head cautiously, hoping she didn't look as uncomfortable as she felt.

"What?"

"Will you... go out out with me?"

Soul cringed after asking, ready for another rejection, but it didn't come. He hoped that meant she would say yes. He hadn't told her about his impending fight with Ragnarok yet, but he knew he might not survive it, and he wanted to go on a real date with her before it happened, just in case he died. He watched her eyebrows crease as she thought of her response, allowing himself to feel a little hopeful.

Maka still didn't completely trust him, but she couldn't deny that she was interested, at least not to herself. She felt almost nostalgic for all the time they'd spent together, which was ridiculous, because she'd been a prisoner and she'd argued with him more often than anyone else she'd ever met. But now that she wasn't forced to be around him all the time, they actually seemed to get along. Despite his insistence that he was evil, he was actually an okay guy. His ethics still needed to improve, but he was getting better. She hadn't forgiven him for kidnapping her, didn't know if she would, but she wasn't as mad as she had been. She was pretty sure she'd regret saying yes, but she did it anyways.

"Okay," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "I'll go out on one date, but on my terms."

Soul nodded cautiously, careful not to do anything to make her change her mind.

"But if I do this, you can't come to therapy anymore, at least not with me. Even if we only go out this once, and it probably _will_ only be this once, I can't date a patient."

He nodded again. He hadn't realized he'd have to stop his sessions with her, but he understood. "Okay. What do you want to do?"

"I've been wanting to see that new documentary. We could do dinner and a movie."

Soul didn't dare disagree, even though he had no idea what documentary she was talking about. After all, it wasn't the movie that mattered to him, it was that he got to watch it with her. He mentally cringed at himself for thinking such a cheesy thought, but didn't let it distract him.

He nodded. "Sounds good. When and where?"

Maka wasn't ready to trust him with her home address, so she told him the restaurant and when to meet her, promising she'd be there.

Soul knew he could easily find out where she lived. He was a hacker after all. But he wasn't going to. She'd decided to trust him enough to go on a date, and he didn't want to prove her wrong by going behind her back to find out her personal information. No, he'd let her tell him when- or if- she was ready, and in the meantime he'd prove to her that he wasn't the jerk she thought he was.


	6. Soul Misses Obvious Social Cues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I'm finally writing new content. Everything before this chapter was written 6 months ago and has just recently been re-edited. Cheers!

Soul huffed impatiently as Flying Kid took his measurements yet again. "Is this really necessary? You've already done it 4 times. Does it really have to be that precise? It's not like I'm going to be wearing spandex..." He trailed off. "I'm not, right?"

He looked to Ricochet for reassurance. She stuck her tongue out at him but didn't respond. He was beginning to think her childishness was more than just a quirk and wondered absentmindedly how old she was. She looked like she couldn't be any older than 17.

"You are," Shooter said, sparing him a brief glance which showed no pity. "It's not officially a S.H.U. regulation, but Kid's a traditionalist."

Soul groaned in annoyance and shifted his legs, immediately moving them back to their previous position when Kid snapped at him to stand up straight.

Ricochet crouched down to tap Kid's shoulder and presented him with a crude crayon drawing of a superhero. "Look, Kid, I designed his costume for you."

Kid grimaced. "Ricochet," he said, clearly restraining from raising his voice in annoyance. "While I... appreciate the effort, I have criteria, and this doesn't fit it."

She pouted. "But it has a lightning bolt zig-zaggy thing!"

Kid inhaled deeply as if to calm himself. "And I can appreciate that, but in addition to reflecting his talents it. Needs. To be. Symmetrical."

Shooter took the drawing from Ricochet and pulled her away from their frustrated partner. "It's okay, P. He likes it, he's just being Kid. You know how neurotic he is about his symmetry."

Soul pursed his lips in impatience, ready for this to be over so he could get away from these strange heroes.

Shooter touched Kid's back. "I think you've measured him enough times. He's not a shapeshifter. His measurements aren't going to change. Now start actually designing a suit. Or better yet, just let me call Edna. Before we were partnered up with you she designed our suits. Why make him go through this whole ordeal when you can just hire the trained Super Hero Costume Designer? The one time I asked you to do my eyebrows you spent hours on your preliminary sketches and I don't even want to think about how long you took on our costumes!"

Kid clenched his fists. "No, I can do this by myself. It'll be minimalistic and tasteful, don't worry." 

Soul sat down and rubbed his eyes. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

She seemed annoyed at him as soon as he approached her but he tried not to let it discourage him.  _This is a nice_ _restaurant_ , he thought,  _this is going to be a nice date. Don't screw it up._  He sat down awkwardly, feeling very underdressed. He hadn't thought to wear anything nicer than his normal t-shirt and jeans. She hadn't dressed up, either, but she usually wore professional looking clothing so for her it didn't make a difference. She had a nice blouse with some ruffles down the front tucked into her black pencil skirt and had sensible flats on. He caught his gaze lingering too long on her legs and snapped his attention back up to her face. She looked unimpressed.

Maka sighed and took a sip from her glass of water. "You're late."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I know. Sorry. My 'partner' was trying to design my costume or whatever and he wouldn't let me leave. I told him I had to use the bathroom and ducked out, but of course there was traffic, so I managed to be late anyways."

She smirked. "You're like a walking disaster." She looked down at her watch. "Well, we only have an hour until the documentary starts, so lets hope the service here doesn't take too long."

Soul grinned. "We could just order something easy to make, or something pre-made like, I dunno..." He quirked an eyebrow. "dessert."

She frowned. "Soul, I get that you're trying to be funny, but we can't just eat dessert for dinner. That's not how dinner works. That's how _dessert_ works."

He laughed. "Come on, don't be so uptight. Just order dessert. I'll make you a deal. You order a dessert now, and I'll get you something else later."

She sighed again. "Fine, but we're not ordering one dish and sharing it. That's a stupid thing to do on a date. I'm getting my own and you're not gonna touch it."

He covered his mouth in mock offense. "What? How dare you even suggest such a thing? I may be an ex-villain but I would _never_ steal a lady's dessert."

Maka bit back a retort about how he'd stolen _her_ and kept her captive.  _He deserves a second chance_ , she thought for what felt like the fiftieth time that night.  _Don't create unnecessary conflict._

* * *

They ended up getting to the theater a few minutes early, so Soul sent Maka ahead to find them seats and told her he had to use the bathroom. As soon as he was certain she'd gone up the escalator to the second level he swerved away from the bathroom and towards the concessions stand.

She looked up as he edged along the aisle towards her. "Took you long enough."

He grinned and dropped something warm in her lap. She froze. "What did you do?" Her voice started to sound a little bit panicked. "What is this? This better not be some sort of trap."

"Wha- no. Chill, Maka. It's just food."

She exhaled shakily and forced a laugh. "Right, yeah, I knew that. I was just, um, kidding." She picked up the warm parcel and peeled away the napkin.

"It's just a soft pretzel," he said. "Relax. I'm not trying to do anything. I said I'd get you food, so here it is."

She flashed a strained smile and turned away from him, feigning interest in the pre movie commercials.

"So, uh, what are we watching?"

She laughed for real this time. "Have you really been that distracted? I told you the title multiple times. Plus you insisted on paying for the tickets."

He rubbed his neck. "Yeah, um, no. I wasn't paying attention. I just figured as long as you were interested it'd be fine."

She snorted. "Well I guess you'll just have to figure it out, then."

* * *

He tried to pay attention to the movie but he kept zoning out. He fought the constant urge to stare at her and resolutely kept his eyes on the screen without really paying attention to what was on it. He spent the whole movie watching the screen without seeing it to avoid staring at her.

She turned to him when it was over and raised an eyebrow. "So, what did you think?"

He blinked. "Um, it was... good. Really good. Yeah. Super interesting."

She sighed. "You weren't paying attention at all, were you?"

He smiled sheepishly and looked away. "No, not really."

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Whatever. I thought you'd be interested because it's about Supers, but I guess you're just so thick headed you didn't even notice."

He frowned. He _hadn't_ noticed. Was he really that oblivious? _Well_ , he though, _I did kidnap her and then forget to give her clothes to change into_.

She stood up and started to walk out of the theater. He stood and trailed her out of the dimly lit room, feeling like a scolded puppy. They walked in silence out of the building until he broke it by saying, "Sorry. I'll pay attention next time."

She snorted. " _Next time_? What makes you think there will be a next time?"

He halted. "I just... I thought..." He trailed off and covered his face with his hand in embarrassment.

She turned around to look at him. He looked so pitiful she almost felt sorry for him. She lightly flicked his hand with her fingers and he lowed it.

He averted his eyes when she looked at him and she pursed her lips in frustration. "God, you're hopeless. You know there are lots of other people you can date who you don't have a complicated history with. I can see what you're doing and it's not good for you. Obsessing over me isn't healthy."

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are," she sighed. "I get that you're lonely, but I'm not the answer to that." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "In your head you've turned me into an idealized version of myself that doesn't exist, and I'm not going to live up to it. Plus I'm still dealing with all the issues you created when you kidnapped me." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I can't do this. It just can't work. You're seeing someone who doesn't exist and I'm seeing a version of you you're trying to move past."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out." She turned around and began to walk away. "I'll send you a list of different therapists you can look into."

He reached out and grasped her arm without thinking. "Wait!"

She spun around to glare at him. Tears were trailing down her face. He reeled back slightly in shock but didn't let go of her arm.

She tried to pry his hand off of her wrist. "Let go," she hissed.

He caught her other arm and pulled her to him, craning his head down so their noses were almost touching. "No."

She twisted her head away from his, choking out a sob. "Stop it, Soul. Let go of me."

He wrapped an arm around her back and pressed her to him, using his free hand to grasp her tear streaked face and tilt it back towards him. She glared at him and pushed against his chest to try and break free but he didn't let her go.

"Please, Maka," he whispered. "Give me a chance."

She scowled through her tears. "I just did, and you're proving right now that you didn't deserve it. You don't understand how your actions are hurting people around you. You say you want to make this work yet you're repeating all the same mistakes. You can't just trap me and force me to love you." Her tears continued to stream down her face and she shut her eyes tightly to try and stop them. "I'm not some pet you can keep in a cage, Soul," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm a human being with feelings."

He loosened his arm holding her against him then dropped it, taking a step back. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked away. He reached out to her but dropped his arm when she flinched away. "I'm sorry," he whispered, biting his lip. "I'll... I'll leave you alone."

She looked up as he walked away into the night and rubbed her sleeve across her tear stained cheeks, knowing this wasn't over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it got kinda angsty at the end there, but they need to deal with their problems before they can really move forward. They both have issues they need to deal with. Soul needs to deal with his abandonment issues and stop trying to hold onto Maka without considering her feelings. Maka needs to build up trust and a feeling of safety with Soul before she can seriously consider dating him.
> 
> On a lighter note, did anyone notice my reference to The Incredibles? That movie was my childhood.  
> 


	7. Soul is Still Being an Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fun to write the interactions between Soul and his new partners. Patty(Ricochet) is my favorite, but Liz(Shooter) is fun too. Kid is just ridiculous.

Maka sighed and took a sip of her now lukewarm coffee. She'd been nursing it all morning to avoid going to work. He had forgot to cancel his scheduled appointment with her before their disaster of a date and she was dreading a confrontation with him.

She didn't want to go in to find him sitting in her office begging for forgiveness because she wasn't ready to address what had happened. He'd physically restrained her and crossed a boundary. The way they'd been pressed together would have been intimate if she hadn't felt trapped and panicked the whole time. She normally took her time working up to physical closeness and yet he had pulled her against him without her consent and ignored her when she told him to let go. What little trust they had built up during his therapy sessions had been erased. She was mad at herself for agreeing to go on the date and made at him for not respecting her boundaries.

* * *

Soul considered going in to see her but decided it would do more harm than good, especially since he was supposed to be leaving her alone. Instead, he went to S.H.U. and volunteered to fix broken tech and improve computer software. He thought it would provide a distraction from the guilt he felt over being such an ass and ignoring her protests against him crossing over the boundaries she had clearly drawn for him. He was wrong.

 _God, I was an ass_ , he thought as he mindlessly repaired a robotic glove. _She'll never forgive me, and she'll be right for doing so._ He sighed, filled with self loathing and feeling sorry for himself at the same time.

"Are you done sulking?"

Soul jumped in surprise and turned around. Shooter had seemingly materialized out of thin air and was standing behind him. He stood up and brushed of his pants, glowering at her. "I wasn't sulking," he snapped.

She rolled her eyes. "Riiiight. Well, Kid wants you to try on your new costume, so you should come over to 3B when you finish up with your little tinker project."

He scowled at her back as she turned and walked away from him.

* * *

Soul stepped out from behind the changing screen and looked into the full length mirror Shooter had leaned against the wall. "I look like an idiot," he said, glaring at his reflection as if he could make it disappear if he stared hard enough at it.

Kid scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous, you look fine."

"No, no, he's got a point," Shooter said. "He does look like an idiot, it just has nothing to do with the costume." She smirked at Soul. "It must be a pre-existing condition."

Ricochet laughed at her sister's comment and hugged Soul from behind, lifting him off his feet in a surprising display of strength. "He's not an idiot most of the time!" she exclaimed, squeezing Soul so tightly he thought she might crush his ribs.

He pushed her off him and fell to the ground when she let go. "Thanks, Ricochet, but don't try to help me." He glared at her briefly, then glanced back at his reflection and sighed. His suit was a tacky metallic grey spandex material that covered everything below his chin and had a green circuit board pattern running over his arms and legs. He looked ridiculous.

"Why is it a unitard?" he asked in annoyance, standing up. "And why did it have to be spandex?" He could already feel it riding up, and even though he was thin and lanky he felt uncomfortable wearing something so tight that it showed off his entire body.

"It's a base costume, so of course it's a spandex unitard. That's fairly standard," Kid replied. "You're supposed to add stuff to it. Except the boots. I built those into it."

Soul looked down at his legs. The material stiffened as it reached his feet and turned into combat boots without cutting off the circuit board pattern. It was actually pretty impressive that Kid had managed to blend the suit and boot material together, but he was still annoyed. "Wouldn't it be more convenient to just have pants and a shirt separate from the boots instead of combining all of it? This takes forever to change into."

Kid scoffed. "It's worth it. You look great. Now pick a mask and a belt."

"And buy thicker underwear," Ricochet added, looking directly at his crotch.

Shooter flicked her sister. "Stop staring, it's rude," she said. She glanced at Soul's crotch and then back at her sister. "But yeah, you're right." She turned back to Soul. "If the spandex is too tight now it'll be even worse in battle. We have the same problem," she continued, "but it's not as bad because being a girl superhero is way better than being a dude superhero."

"No it isn't!" Ricochet interjected. "The spandex is too tight! It makes my boobs hurt."

Shooter glared at her sister. "Stop bragging."

* * *

Maka walked into to her office, coffee cup in hand and started when she saw Soul standing there. She almost spilled her coffee in surprise.

"Why are you here?" she asked, taking a step back so she was standing in the doorway. She wanted to be able to run if necessary.

He stopped fiddling with his hands and stuffed them awkwardly into the pockets of his hoodie. "I came to apologize," he said. "I was an ass and I'm sorry I didn't respect your boundaries."

"Yeah, you should be," she snapped.

He looked up at her. "I... understand if you don't want to see me anymore, but please just..." he rubbed his neck. He really hadn't thought this through. "Please try to give me another chance. I like you, I really do, and I feel awful for how I treated you. I have no excuses. It was uncalled for and I shouldn't have done it. But I won't do it again."

She frowned. "That's not enough," she said. "I don't feel safe with you. I'm trying to believe that you won't try to capture me again but it's hard after what you did. You need to accept that this just can't work." She pushed the door open wider and stepped aside. "Now please leave."

* * *

"Are you okay?"

Maka looked up at Tsubaki and faked a smile. "Of course I am."

Tsubaki plopped herself down on the couch next to Maka. "You're such a bad liar," she said. "Plus you're alone in your office after work hours staring into space. I don't need to be a therapist to see something's up, Maka. Is it about Hacker?"

Maka laughed humorlessly. "Is it that obvious?"

Tsubaki wrapped her arm around Maka. "It's okay to not be okay, you know. Your relationship with him is complicated and stressful. First you were his prisoner and now you're his therapist. It must be hard to separate the two. You should refer him to me. I have an open spot. I can talk to him so he'll have someone to deal with his problems other than you."

Maka bit her lip and glanced at Tsubaki, feeling guilty for not telling her before now. "Actually, he's not my patient anymore. It's been a few weeks since he... since we..." She turned away. "I'm such an idiot. I went out on a date with him because he kept asking and then we had a fight, I guess? So I told him all the reasons it couldn't work and then..." She started to cry. "It's so stupid. I'm making a big deal about nothing."

Tsubaki hugged her tighter. "It's not stupid. Tell me what happened. Did he hurt you? Assault you? We need to report him if he did. I want you to feel safe."

Maka hid her face in Tsubaki's shoulder. "He didn't assault me. He grabbed my arm and when I told him to let go he trapped me. I was so scared," she sobbed. "I thought he would kidnap me again."

Tsubaki rubbed soothing circles into Maka's back. "I'm sorry that happened, but it's not your fault. He can't force you to do anything and it wasn't cool of him to try, even if it was just a hug or whatever. It's still not okay, and it's not your fault."

Maka clung to Tsubaki and sobbed harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for hurting Maka, but I can't imagine Soul just reforming overnight. He was a villain. He kidnapped her. Sure, he's getting better, but he's not there yet. He has to learn that his behavior isn't okay, and he's kind of an idiot so the only way he can learn that is to make his mistakes and realize how they hurt Maka. Also Tsubaki is such a good friend. Victim blaming is stupid and she knows it.


	8. Soul is Groggy and Incoherent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a goofy and ridiculous story but the last few chapters have mostly been angst. I'm glad to be getting back to goofy writing. I love writing Soul being an infatuated idiot.

Soul started going to therapy with Tsubaki to try and work through his unhealthy attachment to Maka. He saw her once a week and spent the rest of the week at S.H.U. working to help Kid, Shooter, and Ricochet track down Ragnarok and the other villains he had equipped with tech.

He made himself gloves that would weaken the other tech he'd designed by sending a specialized shock wave through it, but refused to give them the same color and pattern as his unitard. Much to Kid's annoyance, he made them completely black.

He worked tirelessly at helping S.H.U. and improving his behavior so that Maka might be able to trust him again. He designed tech for S.H.U. and volunteered for nonprofit organizations when he had spare time. He wanted to show her and everyone else around him that he could change for the better.

* * *

Maka's phone rang and she picked it up, not recognizing the number.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Hey," a familiar voice replied. "I know you don't want to see me, but I wanted to talk to you."

She paused. "Soul?" She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "How did you get my number? Tsubaki would never give it to you without asking me first."

"Um... I kinda... uh..."

She sighed. "Okay, fine, whatever. What do you want? I thought you were seeing Tsubaki. You shouldn't be calling me."

He cleared his throat. "I, uh, just..." He sighed. "I wanted to apologize again. I know I've already said sorry and you don't believe me, but I really am. I've been working on getting better. I work at S.H.U. full time now and I see Tsubaki once a week. I'm trying, I really am."

She sighed. "And I'm happy for you, but that still doesn't mean we should be together."

"Can we at least be friends?"

She pursed her lips. "I don't know, Soul. Friendship is built on trust, and right now I just don't trust you. I'm glad that you're trying to get better, but that doesn't change how I feel. I need time to work through everything on my own before I can really think about it."

A few moments passed in silence."...Okay," he sighed. "I understand. I'm sorry I called you."

"It's fine," she sighed. "Bye, Soul."

* * *

Soul woke up in 3B and lifted his head off the table, rubbing his neck where it was sore from sleeping at an odd angle. The tech he'd been working on before he fell asleep on it was scattered over the table and the light was still on. He mumbled incoherently and dipped his head down to go back to sleep.

Ricochet smacked his shoulder again. "Come on, you gotta wake up," she said loudly, directly into his ear.

He groaned and dropped his head back onto his arms. "Why?"

Ricochet grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "You gotta wake up so you can go get beat up so we can get the meanie man!"

Shooter sighed. "She means Ragnarok. We think we know his location, so we're gonna go try and capture him."

Soul groaned again. "I hate my life."

* * *

Maka got to her office several hours before anyone else was due to arrive and turned the light on. She jumped in surprise, dropping her coffee on the floor. "Soul, what the hell?!"

He lifted his head partially off her couch and blinked up at her tiredly.

"What are you doing sleeping on my couch?" she asked in confusion, gesticulating wildly. "And what the hell are you wearing?"

He propped himself up on his elbow and looked at her blankly, his eyelids drooping.

"Are you even listening to me?"

He blinked slowly a few times, then closed his eyes completely and let his head droop and fall back on the couch. Maka huffed in annoyance. She looked down at the floor and remembered she'd dropped her coffee on the carpet. She glared at Soul's sleeping form for a moment and stormed out of her office to find cleaning supplies.

Soul woke up to see Maka aggressively cleaning the coffee stain on her carpet and murmuring to herself. He shifted to sit up and she glanced up at him, looking miffed. "Oh, good, you're up. Now get out."

He nodded and stood up shakily. He took a step and stumbled, falling on the ground. She got up and stood over him. "If you're drunk I swear to-" she paused when she saw a glimmer of liquid smeared across his black glove, then glanced at her couch where a red stain where he'd been laying was now visible. She crouched over him and turned him over, scanning his torso to find the wound. 

She pressed her fingers over the nasty stab wound on his abdomen and pinched his arm. "Soul, wake up. We have to get you to a doctor."

He blinked at her without understanding, a stupid smile spreading across his face. He reached up a hand and brushed his fingers over her loose hair, murmuring something about gold and sunshine. She pushed his hand away from her hair in annoyance and pulled it to his abdomen, moving it so that he could put pressure on his wound while she went to get her phone. She pressed his palm onto the wound and removed her hand.

"You need to keep pressure on this while I call for help. Can you do that?"

He nodded and she went to her desk to grab her phone, typing in 911. She turned around as she waited for it to connect and looked over at Soul. He'd sat up and was no longer putting pressure on his wound.

She rushed over to him and pushed him back down to lie on the floor, moving his hand over his wound again. "Soul, I know you're tired and groggy or whatever, but stop being an idiot. Keep your hand on your wound." She removed her hand from his to tuck her hair behind her ear and he removed his hand from his wound to follow her hand up to her hair where he promptly managed to untuck it. She looked down at him in annoyance and was about to say something when the 911 operator finally picked up.

"911, what's your emergency?" A lady asked.

Maka moved her hand to put pressure on his wound as she replied. "Someone's been stabbed. It's on his lower stomach to the lower right of his belly button. I don't know how deep it is but when I found him he'd already bled a lot into my couch and he's acting weird."

She looked down at Soul as the operator asked for her address. He was still smiling up at her, his bloodied hand flicking the ends of her hair that hung over him. She told the operator her address and hung up when she was assured an ambulance would arrive soon, dropping her phone to the floor.

Now that her hand was free she pushed his fingers away from her hair and again tucked it behind her ear. He made a whining sound and she rolled her eyes, pushing his hand back down as he reached up yet again. "The ambulance is coming, so I'm sure you'll be fine." She swatted his hand away again. "Stop it." He reached up again and she pushed his hand down to cover his wound, adjusting her hand over his so that it pressed his hand against his wound.

He started to sit up and she pushed him back down. "Soul, oh my god, just stay down." He tried to sit up again and she lost her patience. She swung her leg over him and straddled him, one hand still pressed over his on the wound and the other pressed against his shoulder to keep him laying down. His free hand twitched by his side and he pet her knee gently, mumbling softly and somewhat incoherently about her being an angel. She rolled her eyes and glanced at the door, hoping the ambulance would arrive soon. His hand moved up her leg to her thigh and she looked down at him, unimpressed. "What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so weird?" He laughed and kept mumbling.

After she'd been sitting on him for a few minutes the ambulance finally arrived. Two paramedics stepped into her office with a stretcher. One of them raised his eyebrow at their position. Maka was confused for a second, then she looked down and realized she was still straddling Soul. She blushed and scrambled to get off of him. Soul removed his hand from his wound again to reach out to her and she glared at him, pressing her hand back against his abdomen. As the paramedics knelt down to assess him she stood up and took a step back. He made a whining sound and reached for her again, trying to get up. The paramedic who had raised an eyebrow at their position earlier looked over at Maka in amusement and gestured for her to come back over. She sighed and sat back down next to Soul, trying not to get annoyed at him when he immediately reached up to play with her hair.

"How'd he get stabbed?" The second paramedic asked. She looked up at Maka, ignoring the way Soul ran his fingers through Maka's hair.

Maka shrugged. "He didn't tell me when I asked. He's been pretty incoherent." Soul began to mumble again about her being an angel and she shushed him unsuccessfully. "He's been acting super weird. I think maybe he was drugged or something."

The paramedic nodded and motioned to her partner. They moved Soul onto the stretcher and got up to take him down to the ambulance. Maka watched them walk away, trying to ignore the whining sound Soul made as he was carried away from her. As he passed through the door he started wailing her name and trying to get off the stretcher to go to her. The paramedic looked over at her. "I think you should come with us," he said. She sighed and walked over to Soul to calm him down so they could leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun to write. Soul being an lovestruck idiot and Maka getting annoyed at him is my favorite, but I only get to write it when he's super out of it because normally he's not like that. I headcanon that he's super into cuddling and likes to play with her hair b/c it's cute. Don't worry, he'll be fine as long as Maka doesn't strangle him out of annoyance.


	9. He's Totally Fine (Except For the Stab Wound)

A nurse tapped Maka on the shoulder to wake her up and she opened her eyes. The nurse smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry to wake you up, but your friend keeps asking for you and we need to know what happened to him but he says he'll only talk to 'his angel.'"

Maka nodded tiredly and stood up, letting the nurse lead her to a room. Soul was sitting on a table kicking his legs back and forth like a child. The upper part of what she now realized was his S.H.U. suit had been pulled down so the doctor could clean and dress his wound and his lower right abdomen was covered with a patch of gauze.

His face lit up as she walked over to him and he reached out to her. She sat next to him on the table and he leaned against her, wrapping his arms loosely around her and nuzzling his cheek against her neck like a cat. She gave him a cursory glance then turned to the doctor. "So what's up with him? Why's he acting so weird?"

The doctor adjusted her glasses and looked down at a chart on her clipboard. "He seems to have been drugged, but we're not sure with what." She looked up and pursed her lips. "We think whatever he was stabbed with was covered in some sort of drug." She smirked. "Whatever it is seems to act like an aphrodisiac. He's been mumbling about you since he got here. He's only stopped now that you're in the room."

Maka glanced at him. "But he's going to be okay?"

The doctor nodded. "Oh, he'll be fine. The wound was bleeding profusely but it wasn't that bad. It was relatively shallow and a clean cut, so it should heal just fine." She bit back a laugh as Soul started sloppily kissing Maka's jaw.

Maka blushed and pushed Soul's face away from her. "And how long do you think he'll be like this?" she asked.

The doctor shrugged. "I don't know. But it doesn't seem to be doing any damage, so I don't think we need to worry about it."

"That's easy for you to say," Maka said as Soul began to place his sloppy kisses on her hands. She glared at him. "You don't have to deal with him."

The doctor smiled. "I'm terribly sorry that you have an over eager admirer. Now can you ask him who stabbed him? He wouldn't answer me."

Maka turned to Soul. "Do you remember who stabbed you?"

He smiled up at her and blinked slowly. "Black Star."

She grit her teeth. "Of course he did, why am I not surprised."

She sighed. "Do you know why?"

Soul laughed. "He said he wanted to cheer me up. We went to find the big meanie man and the guns and flying kite said I should go home because the alarm was fake. Then I got stabbed and I went to your couch and fell asleep."

The doctor looked at Maka for an explanation but she didn't have one. Maka shrugged. "I don't know what he's talking about either."

* * *

After determining that he would be fine, the doctor released Soul into Maka's custody. Having nowhere better to take him, she brought him back to her office and made him lie down on the still stained couch to rest. As she was telling him to go to sleep for the fifth or sixth time Tsubaki walked in.

Tsubaki took a look around and laughed. "Oh, thank god. When I saw the blood on your floor I thought you'd been abducted again or something."

Maka sighed. "No, I came in this morning and this idiot was asleep on my couch." She glanced at him, glad to see he was finally asleep. "He failed to mention that he'd been stabbed and was bleeding out on my couch because he'd been drugged by his idiot friend." She slumped against the couch. "Black star decided he wanted to cheer up Soul by stabbing him with a knife coated in an aphrodisiac."

Tsubaki furrowed her eyebrows. "Why... oh." She covered her mouth so she wouldn't laugh.

"This isn't funny," Maka snapped.

Tsubaki nodded, still trying not to laugh.

"It's not," Maka insisted. "He kept touching my hair and being an idiot because he wouldn't put pressure on his own stab wound, so I had to put pressure on it for him." She blew a few strands of hair away from her eyes. "It makes it very easy to be annoyed at him but very hard to stay mad at him."

Tsubaki nodded. "I get that, but maybe it's time to give him another chance. I know you're mad at him, and I get the reason, but I don't think he's gonna try to trap you again. He's improved a lot. But it's your choice." She smiled. "And if he hurts you again I'll tell Black Star to kick his ass."

Maka laughed. "Thanks."

* * *

Soul woke up with a headache and a throbbing pain in his stomach. He reached down and felt gauze covering his skin. He pressed it and winced when he was rewarded with pain. He shifted and opened his eyes, looking at his surroundings. Maka turned her chair towards him. "Are you out of it yet?" she asked.

He rubbed his eyes. "Out of what? Why am I here?"

She turned back to her desk. "Your idiot friend stabbed you with a drugged knife to 'cheer you up.'" She glanced back at him. "You're weird when you get drugged."

His eyes widened. "What did I do? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry!"

She snorted. "You were annoying but manageable. Now, if you're done with your nap, go home. I have appointments scheduled."

He stood up and went to the door but before he left he turned around. "I really am sorry for everything"

She sighed. "It's fine, I'm not really mad anymore. I'll call you tomorrow to check on you, okay?"

He smiled. "I look forward to it."

* * *

Soul picked up his phone and smiled when he saw the number. "Hey, Maka."

"Hi," she said, sounding tired. "How are you feeling?"

He scoffed. "I'm fine. A stab wound's not gonna stop me. I am a little annoyed that my suit was ruined, though. Now Kid is insisting on measuring me again even though he already has my measurements on file."

"Kid?"

"Flying Kid. He's one of my partners. He's extremely neurotic."

She laughed. "So that's what you meant by 'Flying Kite.'"

Soul cringed. "I hope he doesn't find out I called him that. I don't really remember anything after I got stabbed until I woke up in your office. Sorry again for that, by the way."

"It's not your fault you were stabbed and drugged."

He let her words linger for a moment before speaking again, noting how her voice wasn't filled with spite anymore. "So... are you not mad at me anymore?"

"I don't know. I'm trying not to be. Believe it or not, having to take care of you when you were drugged eased a lot of my worries. I can tell you're trying to get better, and I want to believe you wouldn't intentionally hurt me." She laughed. "Plus you acted like a puppy, so even if I wanted to be mad at you, it'd be like getting angry at a puppy."

Soul didn't respond. He wasn't sure how he should feel about being compared to a small dog.


End file.
